Are you biased? I hate to admit it but I am…

Why do fewer women hold positions of power and why are they still paid less than men?  One view is that women are seen as more ‘emotional’, their hormones fluctuating constantly which supposedly affects their mood, thinking capacity, and ability to make sound decisions. Does any part of this sound true to you? Or are you already shaking your head at the absurdity of such a notion and tutting dismissively at me for even writing such nonsense? Bear with me…

I hate to admit it, but deep down, a small but infuriating part of me still struggles to dismiss this idea entirely. It’s like the stain of red fruits on a treasured garment – no matter how hard I try to remove it, a shadow of it stubbornly remains. And that saddens me.

We all carry unconscious patterns and assumptions about what it means to be our gender. When I first watched Kristen Pressner’s candid TEDx talk, Are You Biased? I Am, towards the end (spoiler alert), she switches images and words on the screen. It was in that moment that that it hit me: I didn’t view men as fragile. This realisation changed how I treat my husband when he is ill.

I love Kristen’s approach as she encourages us to just flip the script. Imagine saying to a male colleague, “No need to get so defensive, dear.” (This was said to me over 30 years ago, and it left me speechless). When I asked a brilliant male colleague how to respond next time, he simply said, “Just say ‘Oooooh,’” in that playful, sing-song tone you use to make it clear to someone you find their response a bit…well…tetchy.

Reading Katrine Marçal’s Who Cooked Adam Smith’s Dinner? recently I laughed out loud. Partly in surprise, and partly with that “slap me across the face with a wet fish” moment of recognising another unconscious bias. In the prologue, she writes about the 2008 financial crisis. She mentions that an Icelandic private equity fund, run entirely by women, was the only one of its kind to emerge through the crisis unscathed.

She writes, “There are studies that show men with higher testosterone levels are more prone to taking risks” (yep, nothing new there, I thought). Then came the slap: “Excessive risk-taking is what causes banks to capsize and financial crises to occur, so does this mean that men are too hormonal to run the economy?” What?! I exclaimed.

She points out that women are just as likely to take risks as men—but primarily during the middle of their menstrual cycles. “Is the problem with male bankers that they are like ovulating women?” she asks. I heard myself laugh. It sounded almost absurd, even preposterous. Why would someone call a man hormonal? The irony of my reaction wasn’t lost on me.

So… what’s my point? If nothing else, I hope you feel inspired to watch the TEDx talk or read the book, that’s a good start.

And I hope it’s more than that. My moments of being brought up short are a salutary reminder that even after years of working to create environments where men and women can thrive – equally, I’m still shaped by my experiences, values, and ingrained beliefs. Despite believing that gender doesn’t define us, I know I’m still biased.

Reading and watching things like these helps me sharpen my own vigilance and reminds me how flawed our perceptions can be. And when we catch ourselves and talk about it, we can engender this sensitivity and awareness into those that come after – girls and boys, men and women. And in doing so, we increase the probability of a level playing field; of leadership teams with a blend that reflects society and customers; of workplaces that create the conditions for all to thrive and fulfil their potential. And what ripples would that create on organisations and society?

What about you? What are your thoughts?  What part do you play? I would love to hear.